Hard Truths Pt. 2 by Danita Chapin

 For our afternoon activity we were scheduled to go to a privately funded orphanage in Arusha. Before taking Professor Buske’s International Children’s Rights class I assumed orphanages were not only necessary, but good. After all, without orphanages there wouldn’t be anywhere for orphans or abandoned children to go. However, after learning more about the system of orphanages I now understand that the entire idea of orphanages is much more complicated than I originally thought.

What I have learned, and is the case for the orphanage we are visiting today, is that most of the children housed in this and other facilities are not truly orphans. Children come to this facility for many different reasons, among them are abandonment, families lacking financial resources, the need for the mother to work outside the home, or maybe even because their mother has passed away and their father does not want to bring the child into a new marriage. But, many of these children do have families. Families that are allowed to visit as frequently as they would like, and at this facility are required to visit at least once a month. So, as I explain a bit later, the knowledge that most of these children have families they are not living with, created an internal conflict for me that forced me to look at my visit to this orphanage in a new light.

I’m not sure what I was expecting the orphanage to look like exactly, but was surprised when we pulled up to the gate to see how well the grounds and buildings were maintained. The grounds looked professionally landscaped with green grass and plenty of shade trees. The buildings were constructed of something resembling pink stucco. The overall setting was beautiful and peaceful. We met with the Director and started our tour in the nursery. The nursery is home to about 15 babies right now that range in age from newborn to about nine months old. The babies are mostly boys, with only three girls among them.

As soon as we walked into the nursery, we met a little boy named Andrew. Andrew seemed happy to see us and immediately engaged with our group. We found out later in our visit that the day we visited was Andrew’s last day in the orphanage because he would be adopted the very next day and move to his new home. Hopefully this would be a new beginning for Andrew and would lead to a strong family relationship for him. Looking around the nursery, I was particularly drawn to a baby named Yusuf, that I thought was about three weeks old. I asked the staff about Yusuf and was told that he was actually eight weeks old, but was born prematurely to a mother that was malnourished, which is why he was so small.

Being a mother myself, I think it is instinctive to want to hold and nurture babies that are without their families or loved ones. So that is what I did. I held Yusuf and rubbed his tummy for almost the entire time we were there and when I laid him back down, he immediately drifted off to sleep, looking very peaceful and content as though I had made a difference in his day. But was that really the case, or is that just what I wanted to believe? Given that I know it is likely Yusuf may have a family outside of this facility, this is a question I am still struggling with as I write this blog almost two days later.

Ultimately where I have landed is that while I initially thought visiting the orphanage, holding the babies and playing with the toddlers was wonderful, I feel differently now. Don’t get me wrong, at the time, the visit was wonderful for me, but what about the kids? Was it really helpful for these children who have families and should be bonding with their families to have strangers stopping by and picking them up for a few minutes and then leaving again? Probably not. Would I encourage my own children or grandchildren to interact with strangers in that way? I can unequivocally say, absolutely not. 

So, as much as I instinctively wanted to hold and comfort these small children who are without their families, I realized that what I was doing was comforting myself, not them. As grateful as I am to have met these children and see this orphanage first hand, after what I have learned about the overall system, I do not plan to participate in this kind of tour again. As natural as it may be to want to comfort a child, it is more important to consider who is actually benefiting from that temporary comfort (likely it’s not the child) and whether it is actually detrimental to the children and their ability to form meaningful attachments in the long run.

////Danita Chapin