Final day of safari: We learned that despite its name, Ngorongoro is a caldera, not a crater. Eki, our guide, says that to be called a crater, there has to be proof of a meteorite impact. He says we’re the happiest travelers. That we make other grumpy, quiet travelers look bad.
He tells us a story about his wife: During her training as a chef, she took a final exam. One of the questions was “Which is the best rice?” The answers were:
a) Biryani
b) Coconut
c) Steamed
d) Condoleezza
The Tanzanian children learn Swahili and English. They know American presidents, geography, and colonial history. Most people in our truck didn’t know who Condoleezza Rice was.
James asks Eki if Tanzanians have superheroes. He says that a Maasai (an iconic shepherd people) superhero is the one that throws the spear into the lion first. Today, the Maasai wrestle bulls to achieve a similar feat. A Bushman superhero is the one who hits the one-inch thick snake in a tree with their spear. He says that Tanzanian academics with triple A’s are superheroes. Drivers with no accidents for many years are superheroes. But superheroes are changing, he says. To some, they are the ones with the most cows (or the most money).
Tanzanians have Bongowood and Bongo music. Eki says “bongo” means “use your brain”. It’s the country's motto. It means to be smart, creative, innovative, and hardworking.
We had a brisk, misty, slow descent into the crater (caldera). In the green, tall grass there were two elephants (tembo); so big they looked large even from our vantage point hundreds of yards away. We learned that mostly males venture into Ngorongoro. The elephants were large, gray, and wrinkly with torn ears and broken tusks. Eki says they go to “retire” in the crater. I wonder about elephant graveyards. It’s a myth, he says. Poachers used the lie to explain slaughter grounds. However, it’s true that elephants become emotional when they see the bones of other elephants. They moan when they pass, recognizing lost family.
Just at the precipice of the crater floor, two lions (simba) hang lazily in a low acacia tree. Eki hears over the radio that a kill was made and so we move in search of the feast. Upon turning, a large male lion saunters up the dirt road towards us, his belly low to the ground. Eki says that after a meal, lions can stay full for up to 3 days.
We find the kill. Hyenas (Hisi) and vultures (tai) are surrounding a bloody patch of grass, popping up and peering into the distance periodically. We recognize the distinct shape of water buffalo (mbogo) horns. A large hyena drags a hoofed leg through the grass. A very small hyena waits 10 yards away in the dirt, his head perched not-so-patiently on his front paws. He skitters up to the group, chases away vultures, and starts to whimper as no one lets him into the kill. Obviously frustrated, he begins whooping a loud, low, bellowing sound that echoes between our ears. We all become quiet in the truck: buffalo bones crackling, hyena paws shuffling, the batting wings of jumping buzzards, the angsty whooping of a hungry pup.
We search for grazing gazelle (swala) and zebra (pundamilia) near the outskirts of the lake where the road has been washed away by November rains. Eki says that the Thompson gazelle (sawa tomi) are the lion equivalent of McDonald’s: fast food. Warthog (Ngiri) prance near the road, whipping their thin tails wildly (reminds me of Lord of the Flies). Eland gazelle (Pofu) stand stiff and tense in the tall grass (remines me of the forest king in Princess Mononoke). Zebra twist their necks as they stand together. By utilizing their stripes, they can disguise their true numbers from predators. An ostrich (mbuni) passes across the road, flailing its black and white wings, craning its neck into the dirt.
Fastest, in order:
Cheetah (Duma)
Ostrich
Topi (Nyamera)
Thompson gazelle
(Eki, 2024)
We search for the rare and elusive rhino (kifaru). A 400-strong herd of zebra graze in the rolling hills overgrown with sweet smelling, bright orange marigolds. Eki says they are invasive. He spots a hippo (kiboko) hundreds and hundreds of yards away, deeper down the valley, walking from pond to river’s edge. An impressive feat. We gaze through binoculars, struggling to find it.
An enormous male lion becomes startled as we barrel down the dirt road. Tail whipping in circles like an angry house cat, he quickly slinks into the tall grass. We sit silently waiting for him to reappear. He never does. Eki is incredulous. Male lions are, on average, 450 lbs. Soon after, maybe 4 miles away, we see a set of 3 lion ears in the grass. However, none were the disappeared male.
Male wildebeest (nyumbu) circle various clusters, belching a deep and onerous bleat, looking for challengers and often finding them. James mimics the sound and the nearest wildebeest become helplessly confused as to who to fight. Apparently, they are tasty meat.
Zebras roll in the same patch of dirt as their family members to drench themselves in the scent. Zebra family cologne, Eki says. They also roll to readjust their stomachs.
Ngorongoro is not Swahili. It was named by the British colonizers and is an onomatopoeia of Maasai cow bells ringing in the valley. This is the only park the Maasai can still graze their herds in.
A Swahili proverb: If you wait, the bananas will ripen.
Every truck must survive the embarrassment of a knot in a tree being mistaken for a sleeping lion.
Sodom apples were said to be the first plant to grow after Sodom and Gomorrah fell.
RHINO: A black rhino far, far into the distance across the plains. Rangers keep a constant eye on the park rhinos from watch towers peppered throughout the park. If ever they lose sight of one, there is an immediate alert. The black market price is $500,000 for one. There are roughly 22 in the park, but the rangers never release the actual number. Some cultures use their horns to make ceremonial daggers. Others believe the horns are aphrodisiacs. At least the world can agree that poaching is bad.
On the long ride back to Arusha, we talk about Tanzania. Eki is curious about Oregon: How far is it from New York? He’s not impressed by the cascading waterfalls, etched deep into the vine covered stone cliffs. Tall buildings with lots of glass are wow, he says. He wants to see the Nile and the Egyptian rift valley–the other side of the Tanzanian rift valley.
We stopped at a gas station just outside the park. Men and women with jewelry, shirts, and Swahili books surround the truck, talking to us through our open windows. I let them know that I don’t have any money (a truth) and they move onto the next window. Mr. Cheap, as he calls himself, is trying to charm Andrew to no avail. He pulls out some necklaces and one catches my eye. I ask to see them and the vendors swarm my window. I ask the truck for 15,000 shillings and take it. Very happy with my purchase.
Eki says Tanzania is a rumor country. If James Mzungu (white traveler) pees on the side of the road in Kuratu, by the time we get to Arusha, Eki will hear about it.
Mto wa Mbu (Mosquito River) is my favorite town: bustling, jungle verdant, shaded, full of bushels of bananas in woven green baskets along the roadside. Women in bright patterns peddle fruit from baskets perched atop their head into dala dala (minibus taxi) windows. Teen girls walk together: one in a red flowing burka, another in a gingham red shuka (traditional Maasai clothing; a wrap), a third in a t-shirt and jeans. Eki says that all tribes live here. And in relative harmony, I see.
Further down the highway, a man holds bushels of shining Nile perch (sangara). Eki says that if you hang them from your side mirror and drive, they’ll still be fresh when you get to Arusha. A truck soon passes with a bundle of fish hanging from their rear windshield wiper.
Maasai, Maasai, Maasai: In red, tall with staffs by the roadside looking stoic onto the passersby. Walking in twos, tall and glittering. She carries a wrapped baby on her back. Another boy draped in bright yellow, riding a shiny well-kept motorcycle. He’s ducking, arms out, his shuka whipping in the wind. Three women in three layers (3 layers means they are married) walking bent with tidy, wrapped bushels of branches on their backs.